Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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