as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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