I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize