i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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