have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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