Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
