so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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