I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
