when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
