I have demons in me.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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