I can't watch pbs sober anymore
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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