He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.