Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null