The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.