Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
it's unicorns you uncultured swine