Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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