You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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