He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
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Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize