So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
