You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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