Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over

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  (305) 3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over http://tfl.nu/46dm
  Replies (3) Good night (966) Bad night (2133)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.

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  (269): bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile. http://tfl.nu/sd6y
  Replies (2) Good night (1159) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles

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  (212): Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles http://tfl.nu/ttbo
  Replies (5) Good night (684) Bad night (1044)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I just threw up on my dentist

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  (603): I just threw up on my dentist http://tfl.nu/4tee
  Replies (20) Good night (983) Bad night (3274)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.

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  (609): i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/thtn
  Replies (30) Good night (8145) Bad night (1330)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."

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  (610): i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there." http://tfl.nu/12yv
  Replies (28) Good night (6997) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career

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  (269): i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career http://tfl.nu/7xqo
  Replies (18) Good night (1405) Bad night (3432)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  we're about an hour out, how's the weather?

  (720): View more from Colorado

  cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.

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  (303): we're about an hour out, how's the weather? (720): cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home. http://tfl.nu/na0o
  Replies (14) Good night (6151) Bad night (1154)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.

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  (919): I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage. http://tfl.nu/i318
  Replies (7) Good night (1299) Bad night (3561)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.

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  (815): i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning. http://tfl.nu/0ff2
  Replies (4) Good night (868) Bad night (1991)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.

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  (214): If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes. http://tfl.nu/n8v9
  Replies (6) Good night (2329) Bad night (937)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?

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  (317): why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator? http://tfl.nu/5m0o
  Replies (10) Good night (3006) Bad night (1048)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.

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  (573): I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING. http://tfl.nu/4gcc
  Replies (6) Good night (964) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head

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  (703): His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head http://tfl.nu/cxta
  Replies (10) Good night (587) Bad night (1388)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.

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  (516): Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE. http://tfl.nu/3y8r
  Replies (0) Good night (407) Bad night (260)

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