I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
