I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
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And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
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He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding