Already got asked if we're dating
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You left your underwear on the fireplace
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.