He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize