My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
