This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
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she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
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Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.