Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.