Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud

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  (330): So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud http://tfl.nu/jb23
  Replies (25) Good night (5108) Bad night (714)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.

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  (479): I had fun last night. We should have sex less often. http://tfl.nu/07uu
  Replies (8) Good night (1338) Bad night (6853)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.

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  (203): I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus. http://tfl.nu/scm8
  Replies (17) Good night (7637) Bad night (1174)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.

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  (724): About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore. http://tfl.nu/twc0
  Replies (46) Good night (2842) Bad night (13627)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.

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  (631): Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me. http://tfl.nu/yrie
  Replies (9) Good night (2726) Bad night (1082)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"

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  (262): He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage" http://tfl.nu/fr69
  Replies (17) Good night (8947) Bad night (1188)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.

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  (303): You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them. http://tfl.nu/oqni
  Replies (6) Good night (1588) Bad night (2796)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle

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  (610): You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle http://tfl.nu/ha8a
  Replies (5) Good night (766) Bad night (1933)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck

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  (773): They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck http://tfl.nu/dsuf
  Replies (8) Good night (2040) Bad night (785)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.

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  (615): A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning. http://tfl.nu/fh1x
  Replies (5) Good night (1398) Bad night (686)
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  (916): View more from California

  the gays at disneyland are vicious

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  (916): the gays at disneyland are vicious http://tfl.nu/i9ir
  Replies (13) Good night (1778) Bad night (631)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.

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  (832): We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad. http://tfl.nu/9s88
  Replies (3) Good night (1049) Bad night (392)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  just found out that she named her cat after me.

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  (612): just found out that she named her cat after me. http://tfl.nu/gcoa
  Replies (4) Good night (315) Bad night (795)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change

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  (301): I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change http://tfl.nu/8tjs
  Replies (2) Good night (230) Bad night (368)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.

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  (320): It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus. http://tfl.nu/y9c1
  Replies (1) Good night (609) Bad night (162)

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