I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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