Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i came on her dog
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
