you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
