people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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