I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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