You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
