my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
