is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
God, you're like boner-b-gone
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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