Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
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At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
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while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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