I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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