The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
