i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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