She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
