In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize
