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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?

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• (562): View more from California

  you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.

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  27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.

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• (518): View more from New York

  That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.

  (315): View more from New York

  Who is this?!????

  (518): View more from New York

  That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.

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  These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"

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