i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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