I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
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I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
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I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"