anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize