Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
