I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
