ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
