He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
