who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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