He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He better not be in your backpack
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize