Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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