Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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