just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
