watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize