they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
