im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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