he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
