It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
