What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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