I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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