Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
