I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
