break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
