dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize