Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
