It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
