Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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