She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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