i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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