He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
