i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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